Savor it. It goes so fast.

Does this sound familiar?

As I move through the world as a ‘free bird’ – empty nester I find myself like a magnet drawn to “young” moms walking the sidewalk with strollers, or standing in the grocery line. There I am waving and blowing kisses to the babies and toddlers as the moms are trying to somehow bribe, or finagle their kid back into the cart so they can check out.

Just the other day, I walked out of a local coffee shop and I saw this mom, struggling to carry her drink, a pre schooler, a toddler and one in a ‘pumpkin seat’ – if you have kids that are in their 20s you know what I mean – that all too heavy carry seat that you could latch in the carseat base as you go about your day. Oh just the thought takes me back to sore arms.

She was frazzled, looked exhausted at 8:30am and just wanted her toddler to stop saying “Mom, I want my cookie” on repeat.

So I walked over and offered a hand. She looked at me, gave me a quick ‘once over’ and said, “Yes, please.”

I held her drink, and picked her keys up off the ground, just as the pre schooler poked her little head around from the back of the SUV and said, “I got banana bread. Do you like banana bread?”

Once all seemed settled, I started to walk away, of course waving and blowing kisses, and then I said the words: “Savor it. It goes so fast.”

Then I reflected on how many times I’ve said that very thing to young moms, who are in the trenches of mom’ing’ infants, toddler, tweens and in-betweens. Those 6 words just roll off my tongue every time.

It’s my GO TO line –  and over-used GO TO line.

It’s over-used because I never really stopped to think how a “young” mom just trying to make it to the preschool drop off line on time might reflect on those words.

This “young mom” struggling in the parking lot with a pre schooler, a screaming toddler and an infant was absolutely darling thing in her yoga pants. She’s in the middle of it all with littles that are between giving up naps, potty training and kindergarten. She is truly tired, and at times I’m certain moving through her days as a zombie.

I remember those days. Those days that seemed to never end. Those days when I closed all the blinds in the house to make it dark so my toddler would be convinced it was bedtime at 4:00pm.

And as a mom of three young adults – it does go fast, but it also is hard. There are long days and weeks and moments that I wasn’t quite sure I was doing anything right. There were days I sat on the couch during nap time folding load after load of laundry, or washing bottles. I did nothing perfect – but imperfectly perfect!

The words that should have come out of my mouth were, “You are doing a great job.” I should have hugged her and told her there will be tough days, but it’s going to get easier. I should have shared a story with her, like the time when my dear friend and I were so excited to go to lunch with our newborns we called each other 16 times that morning to confirm. And because of our excitement to actually get out of the house, we left one child behind in their ‘pumpkin’ seat on the kitchen floor. Yes – we actually did that – we pulled out of the driveway – one kid all buckled up sucking on a pacifier, and after we drove two blocks (literally) to the Jimmy Johns (not kidding) we realized that we may have just forgotten one kid. Of course – all was fine – we immediately turned around, sped the two blocks home, jumped out of the car and there he was. Right where we left him. Safe and secure on the floor all buckled in his carry seat.

Now maybe that wouldn’t have been the best story to share. I could have told her a million stories of things that went wrong. The times I didn’t know what I was doing. I should have shared a story because at the end of the day, me sharing a bad day might be the only adult interaction she would have that day.

So as an “experienced” empty nester mom, my advice is next time you see a darling “young’ mom in a grocery line, walking down the street or at a department store, bite your tongue and don’t say it. Don’t say those 6 words. You know you want to blurt it out. Instead of saying, “Savor it. It goes so fast”

Give them a smile or offer them a helping hand, a hug, something to acknowledge their hard work and let them know they are doing great.

And to all you new moms and moms of littles, here’s my advice: “The work we do – tending to people, things, seasons, moments that need our attention – this is purposeful and good work that at time gets overlooked. Remember you are right where you are supposed to be and doing an amazing job.”