Reconnecting with college students home for the holidays
Most college students experiencing higher levels of stress and anxiety over the holidays
More college students are feeling stressed about returning home for the holidays than they were last year, a recent TimelyMD survey finds. A National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) study found that 64% of people with mental illness felt the holidays made their conditions even worse. The study found that nearly 80% of students said they’re currently experiencing the same, or even higher, levels of stress and anxiety than they were last year.
About half of the students surveyed said they were stressed about visiting home over winter break, whereas the other half said they weren’t. However, almost half of the respondents listed family as the main source of holiday stress, while 41% pinpointed travel and 38% said finances.
5 tips for surviving & thriving when your house is full for the holidays
Dropping them off at college and saying goodbye to your child was probably one of the hardest things you as a parent can experience. It’s hard to let go after 18 years of them living under your roof. Will they eat well? Sleep alright? Will they make friends? Find school too hard? Will they be able to handle the workload alright?
They’ve really experienced what a huge transition it is to go from high school to college. By this point, they have managed a large array of stressors like grades, money, home-sickness, social pressures (like underage drinking), or sexual pressure.
Thanksgiving Break is the perfect time to have a candid discussion and help your student do an honest assessment of their living situation, study habits, well-being, financial viability, social integration and belonging on campus. The long weekend provides parents a chance to offer support for any needed changes or in establishing a plan that could help their student turn things around for the remainder of the term and beyond.
1) They will want to spend time with friends(and they’ve seen instagram and snapchat highlights from others….and they will realize that it’s not reality..what they post is their highlight reel. Young adults headed home for the holidays can create a combination of joyful anticipation and some trepidation.
2) Don’t have a house’full’ of relatives and ‘extras’ when they get home – let them ease in. It may be difficult to come to terms with the fact that your child is now, technically, a young adult, with the rights and responsibilities that come with it. Allow them space to ease back
3) Don’t expect them to abide by curfews and rules…..they’ve lived independently – so it’s the time for a conversation to discuss expectations. What you expect and what they think, come up with a plan in advance. The more we resist the way things are with our children, the more painful the holidays will be, It is best to let them be as they please, even though sometimes it hurts.
4) Don’t negatively comment on their physical appearance…don’t comment on the extra pounds or the blue tinted hair – react positively and encourage their independence.
5) Discuss scheduling a coffee catch up before they get home… Reach out the week before and talk about the expectations of the holiday visit and be intentional about scheduling time together.
Realize that they will be ready to get back in January and you will be ready too.
Share your tips in the comments – we love to build community through sharing our experiences.
