EP 14: How to Stop Avoiding Conflict and Reconnect in Your Relationship with Colette Jane Fehr
Have you ever stayed quiet because bringing something up felt harder than just letting it go? Between busy schedules, phones, family responsibilities, and years of falling into familiar patterns, it can be surprisingly easy to become disconnected from the people closest to you without realizing it. I sat down with licensed marriage and family therapist Colette Jane Fehr to talk about why avoiding conflict can quietly create distance, and how approaching difficult conversations with honesty and vulnerability can actually bring you closer. We unpack the difference between sharing what you’re truly feeling and turning your interpretations into facts about the other person. You’ll walk away with practical ways to start hard conversations, recognize when you’re abandoning your own needs to keep the peace, and begin rebuilding connection even if your relationship has been on autopilot for years.
You’ll Learn:
- How to start a difficult conversation without blame or defensiveness
- How to separate your feelings from the story you’re telling yourself about your partner
- What to do when your partner says, “Nothing’s wrong” or “You’re overreacting”
- How to recognize the “siren song of avoidance”
- Ways to protect your relationship while still getting support from friends
- Why midlife can be an opportunity to reconnect
- How to stop keeping the peace at your own expense
Links:
Connect with Colette:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/colettejanefehr
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@colettejanefehr
Substack: Secrets from a Therapist https://colettejanefehr.substack.com/
Watch Colette’s TEDx Talk: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8tSUOB2yEd0
Order a copy of The Cost of Quiet: How to Have the Hard Conversations That Create Secure, Lasting Love: https://www.colettejanefehr.com/new-book
Get a copy of Amy’s Best selling book: CANNONBALL! FEARLESSLY Facing Midlife and Beyond here
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