“But when I turned 50, my dear friend, Maya Angelou was still alive, and Maya said to me, “Babe, the fifties are everything you’ve been meaning to be. It’s everything you thought you might do. This is it. It’s coming in. You’re not even there yet.”
Oprah Winfrey
On the other side of fear is magic.
I’m not smart enough to contribute to that conversation, so I’ll just listen.
I’m not qualified for this job, and haven’t worked for 10 years, I don’t have a chance of being considered.
I’m just a stay at home mom.
If you’re anything like me, or thousands (probably millions) of other women at midlife and beyond, at times, these thoughts have entered your mind. It’s as though you’re not articulate enough, strong enough, not whatever enough, to share what’s in your heart, and deep in your soul, to follow your passion.
Here’s what I’ve learned over the years (five decades) that have helped me take on midlife and beyond with confidence.
Let go of perfectionism.
Nobody is perfect. Full stop. So stop expecting yourself, and everything you do, to be perfect. Strive to be the best version of you in all you do, and be your best, confident self, and embrace the imperfections.
Focus on providing value.
Don’t worry about what others think. We experienced it in the middle school hallways, and we experience it at midlife. There will always be ‘judgers’. “What will they think of me? What if I fail? Rid your mind of these questions. Don’t allow that thinking to drain your cup. Your passion drives your purpose, and don’t allow others to chart your course. If you need help, ask for it. If you make a mistake, simply recalibrate and forge ahead. Don’t search to others for validation…..you are valuable. Own it!
Keep a jar of “tell me something good”.
Every time you receive a compliment from someone, or a praise, a review or testimonial, simply say, “Thank you.” Don’t reply with, “really, you think so?” Then, write that compliment on a piece of paper, or in your phone, and stick it in an envelope somewhere. Fill a ‘tell me something good jar’ with the compliments you receive from others, and on those days when you need a pick me up…..pull one out and reflect on it.
Comparison is the thief of joy.
Easy to do….and a slippery slope. My advice is look in the mirror. That’s your competition.
You are enough. Accept yourself.
Accept your insecurities and your flaws. Accept your failures. And remember that you can’t win until you try, so get off the sidelines and into the game. Give yourself permission to be there. You’ve earned it. Just start. It’s all about living and looking forward and remember, “you’re not too old, and it’s not too late”.
Just Start!
Take action…..
Fear, perfectionism, self-doubt — they all magically disappear when you just start! Just do it!
What are you starting today? Tell me about it….I want to hear more.
What compliment did you receive recently? Shout it from the rooftops….I want to hear more.
